Posted in Uncategorized

Infinite Thoughts

I have no idea how other people came up with a very good solution for their own problems. I have no idea how to get rid of my dreadful thoughts. I have no idea how to escape from the reality and go to somewhere magical and fantasy. And i only have this idea: My very own thoughts suffocate me yet my smile appears genuinely anywhere. That’s cool. Sounds cool. Very cool.

As what I’ve understood, my thoughts are my creation. I’m the one who’s thinking and according to the dictionary, thoughts are the action or process of thinking. I’m the one who actually manages my own thoughts. But for some reason, I’m slowly losing my power to control my thoughts.

I am depressed, afflicted, neglected and alone. But I can’t deal with those things, I’m keeping everything on my own, I’m this type of a girl who trusts no one but herself. But anyways, here are my infinite thoughts which I considered so ready to share for everybody:

  1. Fear of Ghosts
  2. Fear of Cockroaches every time they’re staying on my ceiling.
  3. Fear of being betrayed
  4. What if someone significant to me, dies tomorrow?
  5. What if my friends hate me?
  6. Fear of being humiliated
  7. My competitiveness
  8. My future careers and everything
  9. Fear of losing the interest of everyone
  10. Hating someone who hates me too
  11. Wanting new group, squad, friends
  12. How exhausted to be with my friends
  13. Fear of being late
  14. How I survived from agonizing just to RESPECT MY friend
  15. How come I still stay with her despite of affliction brought to me just to UNDERSTAND MY friend
  16. Keeping myself blind from everything
  17. Surviving the world of dummy
  18. Starting to hate my friends






Posted in High School


17457359_1371791946192211_8146766462095645764_n.jpg      They say high school life of a student is the best but for me, nothing is more fond than a sophomore life. Everything a student ask for is right there and given eventually, an affectionate mama monkey but she’s not just affectionate but a generous one, amiable and always be remembered. Teachers who made so much memorable moments to be cherished forever, my English Teacher did most. Classmates who are proud of me and are the best family I could ever have in my teenage years. But I have to move, we have to move, everybody moves though, somebody ask me if I’m gonna miss my classroom? my number 45 chair? my teacher? and the bonds we shared within that room? I said I’m down to the abyss of affliction.

Entering the sophomore life was terrific but just keep rolling the bones everyday, I reached the acme of happiness and that’s when Erudite 46 who accumulated the room knew, we entered the room shaking, hardly and few were excited, we’re gonna leave it as terrifying as Titanic yeah that hard. We’re gonna go up and just look back for a while and remember how we used to be in that times.

I were not imperturbable about my sophomore life would be. My mind was wandering elsewhere. But as the time passed by, there is something amiss on what I feel about how bad my sophomore life would be, being on this level is everything.

I got a teacher who puts herself to her students first, she doesn’t let the Erudites feel hungry, she’s supportive, she’s proud of us, she fights for us and she disciplines us very well in a good way. I badly don’t wanna leave her but I guess I’ll just see her anon.

For Erudite 46: In happiness and in adversity, no one could break us apart although we’re divided into 7-8 squads, we act, laugh, cry, miss and work as one.

To the lobby, table where I put my bag every morning, the door where I put on my footmop and enter the room, the aquarium that never fails to captivate my eyes, the chair where I seated, the board where I always face, the projector where I reported, the aisle where I performed, the chore assigned to me written on the board, the aircon on the left side, the cleanest CR, the fastest clock, the six gorgeous girls at the back, 2 healthies, 3 short girls and 1 tall girl, the woman who sleeps often in the afternoon at the back— dearest mama monkey. Seeing all of these for 10 months of my life is beyond where perfection exists. I can visit there but won’t last any longer, maybe just for minutes or hours but not a day anymore. What a splendid sophomore life, no more in my sight.